SIGH...........

I don't even know where or how to properly begin this blog. I'm sitting here very bored on a Saturday night and I have a lot of things running through my mind. I should probably go to sleep but it's too early for me to even attempt to...
I'm really just sitting here wondering why people think it's okay to be sneaky and do little petty sh*t behind your back, yet look in the face evryday as if everything is all cool. I wonder why they seem to think you're clueless to all the bullsh*t that they are involved in... I just can't stand fake people and for this particular person to be so close to is what hurts me the most... at times I feel like I should just say f*ck the fact that we are as close as we are, cuz to me if they can be so fake we aren't as close as I thought in the first place...man, wtf is wrong with me that i can't just come out to this person and express how I'm feeling???? that's the eternal question burning within me... I just don't know what to do anymore... Love used to be enough, now I'm feeling like it's not even close to being enough, like it's light years away from being close to enough. trust plays a huge role in my life and i feel as if I'm losing my trust...and idk what this person will do to regain it.. i just don't know what to do and I'm hurting everyday behind this BS...FML

<& i love him>

Having him by my side is such a blessing. I feel as if we are destined to be together and I feel as if he were to love someone else instead of me I would fall apart...

I'm not sure if he understands the magnitude of my love for him. Waking up next to him and falling asleep by his side every night is my inspiration. His smile makes me smile... I enjoy loving him.