I'm sitting here at 1:19am very bored and I have a cold that seems to get better then just rapidly progress out of nowhere!.... it def sucks but I guess since this seems to be the only thing wrong with me I can deal... urg! I just dont like being bored... sooooo what to blog about today?..... nothin I guess just let this random flow of thoughts keep coming because that's all I really have riight now, myu boyfriend is turning in for the night and I guess I will too because I don't like to be left up alone at niight. lol so i guess this is it for now. chao!

...random thoughts again... this is just me ppl....

it's currently 9:15 pm and i just feel the need the blog because I just have random thoughts floating through my mind...Im not really sure if Im even in the right state of mind to be blogging but I don't really care at the moment.. I just feel as if i have things to say/write.
I feel as if ppl judge me unfairly they claim to know me

A New Holiday Tradition...

When people think of the Holidays and all the "normal" traditions, they think of Christmas Trees and they think of Santa Clause and they think of going out and buying gifts for friends and either loved ones... most of all, around the holidays, people tend to think of their family... Every year for the past 19 years of my life, I have spent the holidays with my Biological family...but this year for the 2009 Christmas/Holiday Season, I will be spending it with my friends from school. instead of going out and buying all the traditional holiday foods, we are going out and probably buying a pizza and some other random foods to commemorate our celebration of this joyful time of the year. As for Christmas well, i know that i wont be going home then either..I will be spending that Holiday with my friends as well..New Years is a definite time to be celebrating with my friends b/c that is a day that is solely meant for partying and we do that activity the best! lol... well I guess that's it for now...and Eddie says "Hello.". :)

"Their" opinions of who they "Think" I am...

I think that it's interesting how people tend to care a little bit too much about what others think of them..
I say that now because I've come to accept me for me and I don't really care to dip into other peoples' opinions of who I am and what I do... but please don't think for one second that I have never cared because that is definitely NOT the case...lol... now that I'm thinking about it, it was not too long ago when I was stuck in my "people pleasing" ways... I was so concerned with what other people thought of me that I was slowly beginning to lose myself, drowning in what I thought I was supposed to be, not understanding that attempting to make everyone else happy was leaving me empty and it was turning me into someone I didn't want to be.. I found myself searching for things to make me happy and I was beginning to get frustrated about not being able to find whatever this "IT" was that I was blindly searching for.... not knowing what I needed to make me happy was not even two feet away from me most of the time.. I was just so caught up in everyone else's wants/needs/desires that I couldn't even begin to touch my own....
I'm not really sure what prompted me to change exactly but I do attribute the finding of myself to my boyfriend b/c he is the one who sat me down and told me not to worry about what everybody else wanted from me... and in hindsight he is right(once again) lol and I'm not even upset that he was right about something else b/c in reality I was praying that he was right, I honestly think that I NEEDED him to be right because if he wasen't I had no "Plan B"....
The morning after our "talk" I felt better and I felt like a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I could begin to truly find myself.... and to this very day I'm happy that our talk took place when it did.... it was no coincidence.

the LITTLE things...

I've never really seen myself as someone who is hard to please... The things that I tend to want are hardly ever "material things" and when I get whatever it is that I want I'm pretty satisfied. I've never been the type of person who wants someone to go out and spend lavish amounts of money on my behalf because I don't feel that it is necessary to do so... There are many "little things" in life that make me happy i.e. : watching my favorite movies or playing with my kitten(this one is a fairly new thing), spending time with friends or even just relaxing reading a good book.... I'm not a "high maintainence" type of person and I dont believe that I ever will be... it just seems to me like it takes too much work to want everything under the sun...esp. when there are more realistic things that are actually within my grasp that I can have..... but that's just a thought.

when I realized he was the one for me...

I met the love of my life a couple weeks after I began my freshaman year at BC-U.. and I know that may seem a bit strange or odd even but it;s quite true... I actually saw him for the first time at the school's first pep rally of the year and he was near the stage in the gym just dancing and clowing around and I turned to my friend and pointed him out to her and said," Hey you see the short dude down there?"..she looked and replied, "yeah, what about him?".. I looked at her as if she'd just asked thee stupidest question ever! I was like, "He's soooo cute!" She laughed and was like, "Well maybe you should go talk to him after the pep rally is over".. so I watched him the rest of the time I was sitting there in the bleachers... when the pep rally was over, I descended the steps so that I could go talk to him but there were soooo many people and I could get to him, so I just gave up on it and went to my room and logged onto to facebook to pass the time..... okay now fast forward to the next weekend and the same girlfriend and I decided to go out to the club judt for fun and im dancing nd having fun... we decided to skip curfew check that night so we stayed til the club closed at 3am... but during the time at the club, i saw this cute short guy and he had on my fav colour(green) so of course he got major cool points for that lol. so i went up to him and asked him if he wanted to dance, he said yeah sure... so we danced for a couple songs then when the club was closing and we were leaving I dropped my ID, he picked it up but before handing it back to me, he promptly read my name, repeated it out loud then handed it back... he kept tapping me while we were walking outside.. we stood at the curb and talked and he asked me where i was from I told him I was from Richmond, Virginia and then we instantly clicked. there's sooo much more to our story, but thats for another time

ex's who claim to be sooo hurt......

I find it qiute interesting that ex boyfriends always want to randomly talk to you out of the blue and claim that everything that ever happened between the two of you that was bad should just be forgotten because he wants to be with you again. I had an ex contact me and tell me that he just couldn't be himself without me by his sid, when in all honesty, he broke up with me and told me to forget that I'd ever known him, as if to say F*CK YOU!.. and its quite sad really that when I told him that I was currently in a committed and very prosperous relationship, he got mad and once again told mr to F8uck off, so I ask myswlf, how "hurt" was he????
Did he think feeding me so cheap stupid line about being hurt would make me take him back, well to his surprise it didnt work... mainly beacause I know he's no good for me or to me... smh...